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Following an out, we were heading back to his (read: parents’) place and stopped into a bagel shop for drunk food night. After purchasing, he stated “watch this” and proceeded to take a package of smoked salmon from the refrigerator and place it inside the coating. I became too frightened to accomplish anything, therefore I quietly waited for my food and got away from there ASAP. The remainder stroll straight back had been invested paying attention to him talk about exactly exactly how he and their buddies always accomplish that between shovelling pieces of smoked salmon in the lips. I became SO prepared for sleep by the time we surely got to his household, but JK there was clearly no sleep for me personally and evidently not really a settee. Rather, he led me to a bag that is sleeping between a treadmill machine and a doll package in a cellar that appeared to be it had been directly away from a horror film. I clearly couldn’t closed my eyes and I debated making to settle my vehicle… but I became too afraid I’d wake his parents. —Erinn
Date rating: 3/10 because the bagel (that we covered, BTW) had been pretty damn good
Bad boyfriends
The man who couldn’t ensure that is stays out of his jeans
I happened to be in my own very very early 20s once I dated a dude that is much-older swept me down my legs despite countless warning flags, like extortionate ingesting additionally the hydro he “borrowed” from his building’s hallway via exceptionally long and obtrusive extension cords. We dated for a few months until I happened to be unceremoniously ghosted. Bear in mind, the upheaval of a early-aughts ghosting ended up being much more serious than present-day ghosting since you couldn’t keep monitoring of an ex via social media marketing: in the event that you didn’t bump into them IRL or sad gal-call them, these people were legit gone.
We shifted and eventually my roommates and I also relocated to a fresh apartment where we chose to earn some additional ingesting cash by keeping an impromptu garden purchase. We put up piles of stuff on our curb and I also decided it absolutely was about time to pull out of the “ex file,” a.k.a., the container of their junk that I’d had relocated in one apartment to another when you look at the tragic hope that he’d call someday for a do-over. a passerby giddily snapped up their Polo Ralph Lauren pyjama pants for an awesome $2 before coming back mins later on with a appearance of pure surprise on her behalf face. She handed me the jeans and asked me personally to look in. Here it had been, using one associated with last items of y our crappy relationship: a shart stain . We wordlessly provided the woman her toonie straight straight back, tossed the soiled jammies in a sewer and collapsed in laughter with my two close friends. And also to think i hoped he’d get their shit together.—Jenn
Date rating: 0/10 for literally being the shittiest boyfriend ever
The man who had been simply an ass
We’d been dating for around an and, admittedly, i had gained bit of weight year. We went up to their household to hold down, you’re 17 and have zero income, and after watching literally hours of him play Xbox, I was hungry (GOD FORBID) as you do when. We went for a small number of cheese puffs to which he responded, “Exactly just how weight that is much you gained?” Mom f-cker. WeF ONLY I had answered: “180 pounds of asshole.” —Alanna
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